The Congress/English Dictionary

Nancy Pelosi and Paul Ryan exchanging pleasantries at the opening of the 115th Congress.CreditAndrew Harrer/Bloomberg


His supporters may adore him for “saying what everyone thinks,” but President-elect Donald J. Trump is about to confront the indecipherable jargon of Capitol Hill, which will go well beyond his 140-character norm. Here’s my contribution to the success of his presidency: “The “Congress/English Dictionary.”

CONGRESS: “The distinguished gentleman.” ENGLISH: “The insufferable idiot.”

CONGRESS: “My good friend from the other side of the aisle.” ENGLISH: “My adversary, who must have been raised by, like, aliens.”

CONGRESS: “Broad bipartisan support.” ENGLISH: “Out of 247 Democrats, one co-sponsored the G.O.P. bill.”

CONGRESS: “Will the gentleman yield?” ENGLISH: “Shut up so I can talk.”

CONGRESS: “Reclaiming my time.” ENGLISH: “No, you shut up!”

CONGRESS: “The gentleman’s time has expired.” ENGLISH: “Shut up and sit down!”

CONGRESS: “Ethics reform.” ENGLISH: “Ethics loophole.”

CONGRESS: “The Freedom Caucus.” ENGLISH: “Opposed to gay rights, reproductive rights, voting rights.”

CONGRESS: “The White House Correspondents Dinner? Way too shallow for me.” ENGLISH: “I wasn’t invited.”

CONGRESS: “The special interests.” ENGLISH: “People with whom I disagree.”

CONGRESS: “Strengthen the middle class.” ENGLISH: “Tax cuts for billionaires.”

CONGRESS: “The backbone of our economy.” ENGLISH: “Political bundlers.”

CONGRESS: “Complete disaster.” ENGLISH: “Twenty million insured Americans, slower cost increases, no loss of medical coverage because of pre-existing conditions.”

CONGRESS: “Repeal.” ENGLISH: “Repeal.”

CONGRESS: “Replace.” ENGLISH: No definition.

Steve Israel, a former Democratic United States representative for New York, chairs the Long Island University Global Institute and is finishing his second novel.




About Uy Do

Banking System Analyst, former NTT data Global Marketing Dept Senior Analyst, Banking System Risk Specialist, HR Specialist
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